Community Links Programme - creating opportunity for all

‘I remember the day well, driving to the school to pick up my leaving certificate results. That was four years ago now, and here I am in my first year of college studying in the course I have always wanted to. So what happened in those four years.....?

When I left school, unlike so many of my peers, I had no idea what I wanted to do afterwards. That said, I applied to HEAR and the CAO and picked, at random, a few courses which I thought looked interesting. At the time I had little, if no motivation to attend third level education. It was something my Mam really wanted me to do. To my surprise I got accepted into Journalism with a Language in the DIT in Aungier Street. I decided to give it a go mostly to please my Mam. The problem back then was my heart just wasn't in it. On the first day of college the head of Journalism gave the class a speech and said 'If anyone in here is not serious about becoming a journalist they should leave right now.' I was seventeen at the time and very naive and had never even picked up a newspaper, let alone read one. I thought to myself, 'what am I doing here?!' I decided to stick it out for a while to see how I got on. That day, I talked to some Media Art students. We talked about what our courses entailed and I was envious as their course sounded so much more fun and interesting to me. I wished I had chosen it instead. Later that day I checked the points and they were far too high so I just put it to the back of my mind. After a couple of months of not going to lectures I decided to drop out of my course. I just decided I had no desire to go to college at the time and needed some time out. I met with the people from Access to tell them. Although they were disappointed, they were very supportive of my decision and said if I ever wanted to return to college they would help me again. Bearing that in mind I left college feeling a bit lost and confused. Where would I go from here?

In the next year I worked full time in Eddie Rockets which was fun, but most of the time I felt like I was time wasting. In the back of my mind I knew I wanted to do something worthwhile with my life, I just didn't quite know what. I applied through the CAO again, but this time without the help of HEAR. I got into a Communications course in Tallaght but at the last minute decided to go and live with my boyfriend in Amsterdam instead. That lasted two months and when I came back I started working in The Body Shop on the make-up counter. I enjoyed doing makeovers so much that I decided to do a course the following year in Make-Up Artistry out in Dun Laoghaire. It lasted a year, and although I enjoyed it I knew deep down that it was not something I would want to pursue as a career. It was more of a hobby than anything else. It was summer of 2005 and I was back to square 1.

I got a job as a customer service agent with ‘Eircom’. During that time I decided to apply for college again!! 'Third time lucky, I thought to myself. This time around I did a lot of research into many courses. I called Access to see if they would help me, even though it was four years later.

They remembered me and said that it would be no problem. I chose Media Arts for my first choice, remembering the envy I had felt that first day in college, but in the back of my mind I never thought I would get accepted as the points were so high.

In April of that year I moved from my family home with my sister. I come from a large family and the house was becoming overcrowded so we thought it would be for the best. I started to enjoy the freedom, but financially it was difficult. I began to realise that if I wanted to attend full time college and pay the rent it would be impossible. I tried to make out a few different budgets but I just couldn't see it working out. So I decided to put the idea to the back of my mind and instead concentrate on doing an evening course. That way I could keep my job and afford to live. It wasn't ideal, but at the time I didn't think I had much of a choice.

In the summer of ‘05 things started to go downhill in work. The company was taken over by a massive corporate English company. As a result, a lot of things changed and I became very unhappy in my job. At this stage I had completely forgotten about my college application. Then one day everything changed.....

I had been absent from work for some time during August due to an injury and as a result had to face a disciplinary meeting on my return. During the meeting I had an argument with my manager and as a result I stormed out of work. I knew it was the right thing to do as I had been very unhappy working there and things weren't looking any brighter. I walked down the street without looking back once. An enormous sense of relief hit me which was quickly replaced by panic and dread as I realised, once again I was completely lost in life.

The next day I woke up early and headed into town with my CVs to look for a new job. The rent wasn't going to pay itself! Walking around town in a daze, I thought to myself, 'I don't want to work in another office job; the monotony of it would just kill me'. This left me with little options and I became confused and anxious. I was literally walking around in circles on Grafton Street when my phone rang. I answered it. It was a girl from the Access office asking me if I had checked my CAO offers. Feeling guilty, I lied and said they were in my family home and I hadn't been able to check them as my family were away on holiday. The reality of it was I had totally given up on the idea of full time college as financially I didn't see it as an option. She than asked me if I would like to know what course I got into.

She told me Media Arts, and with that my heart started pounding with excitement. I really couldn't believe I had been accepted. I explained to her that I had moved out of home and that I really didn't think I could afford it. She reassuringly explained that Access would help me in every way possible and that I needn't worry about the money. I said I would need some time to think about it. It was the final day for the CAO acceptance so I had one hour to decide. I hung up and that was it. My gut instinct was telling me that I had to accept my place on this course and given the fact I had just walked out of my job it felt like it was fate. With that I called back the Access office and accepted. I would be starting college in a week!!! They were happy with my decision and so was I!

It’s now nearly the end of my first year and for the first time ever I feel like I am on the right track in my life. I have never been happier. It's taken me four years to get here. Access have been amazing with providing all the support I have needed, both financially and morally. If it wasn't for the crucial service that they provide I would not be here today realising my dreams! For that, I am very thankful!!’